Self-Love: Choosing Yourself Over Belonging

Have you ever noticed how the pace of life pulls us forward without asking permission? We rush through our days, focused on survival, progress, and responsibilities. Then one day, we look up and realize just how much time has slipped away.

The cousins, aunts, uncles, and extended family we only see during celebrations or moments of sorrow suddenly look older. The children who once clung to our legs now stand taller than us, nearly unrecognizable. And the family who may not be physically present—those we’ve drifted from or lost touch with—still hold a quiet, sacred place in our hearts.

We often promise each other: “Let’s stay connected. Let’s make more time.” And yet, life gets loud. Life gets busy. Life gets in the way.

But deep down, do you still long to hold onto the memories that shaped you? Do you wish to reconnect without letting pride, distance, or excuses interfere? Have you been so laser-focused on your own personal growth that you forgot you’re part of something bigger, something rooted in love, history, and shared moments?

When I finally made the commitment to reconnect with family I hadn’t seen in years, everything shifted. The closeness I regained in one relationship in particular is something I wouldn’t trade for the world. It reminded me that time is precious… and relationships are irreplaceable. ❤

Do what it takes to stay connected.
A call, a visit, a message, a simple gesture—it all matters.

Because we never truly know how long we have with the people we love. Make the choice now, not later. Make room for connection while there is still time.

I say it often—through my chapters, my book, and in my talks—because it matters that much to me. It’s not just a phrase I share with others; it’s a reminder I return to myself again and again.

And still, even I wander off my path from time to time.

There are moments when I find myself moving aimlessly, disconnected from the very passion I once spoke about with certainty and fire. When that happens, I try to return to those moments when I gave this advice so freely to someone else. I ask myself: What was I thinking then? What did I know in my heart at that time? And how can I take my own advice now?

Accepting and practicing our own advice is often one of the hardest things we’re asked to do.

When we speak from experience—whether from a journey we’ve already walked or one we’re still navigating—we know our words carry truth. That advice didn’t come from theory; it came from lived moments, lessons learned, and courage summoned in difficult seasons. So why is it so hard to apply it to ourselves?

Fear. Comfort. Doubt. Timing. Sometimes it’s simply exhaustion.

Somewhere along the way, we start negotiating with our dreams. We tell ourselves we’ll return to them later, when life is quieter, when we’re more certain, when the risks feel smaller. But the truth is, the things that set our souls on fire rarely arrive without discomfort.

So the real question becomes:
What is keeping us from taking our own advice?

And even more personally—what is keeping you from doing the things that set your soul on fire?

Sometimes the reminder we need isn’t new wisdom, but the courage to listen to what we already know.

Someone needed your smile today.
Someone needed your kindness today.
Someone needed your presence today.

You may never fully know the impact a small moment had on someone else’s life…
but that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter.

Sometimes, the most meaningful things we do go unnoticed by us—
but unforgettable to someone else.

The world doesn’t only change through big, loud actions.
It changes through quiet, consistent acts of care.

A kind word.
A genuine smile.
Simply showing up.

These are the things that stay with people.

So don’t underestimate the power you carry in your everyday moments.
You are making a difference—more than you realize.

Now, here’s something to reflect on:
What’s the best encouragement someone has ever given you?

Recurring negative thoughts can really sap your energy, more than you might realize. They can weigh you down, cloud your judgment, and make it tough to move forward.

In my book, Finding Your Truest You, I dedicate a whole chapter to “Unlearning Negative Mindsets,” which I affectionately refer to as stinkin’ thinkin’.

The secret to letting go of these thoughts is pretty straightforward in theory, but it does take some practice:

 ✨Reframe your thoughts—try to see things from a different angle.

 ✨Tune out the noise that doesn’t help you.

 ✨Make it a point to focus on something positive every single day.

By sticking to this routine, you carve out space for peace and clarity. You stop battling the same thoughts in your head and start directing your energy toward what really matters.

Letting go of those pesky negative thoughts isn’t just a mental cleanup—it’s a bold act of self-care that revitalizes both your energy and your focus.

Woke up today with a new ache… and you know what? I couldn’t help but smile.

Yep, my knees are definitely having a conversation with me.
Yep, my back is asking for a moment of peace.
Yep, getting up sounds like a sound effects reel. 

But every little ache is a reminder that I’m still here. Still breathing. Still laughing. Still loving. Each twinge tells me my body has carried me through another day, another challenge, another moment worth cherishing.

Aging isn’t always a smooth ride — it creaks, it stretches, and it humbles you. But it’s also a privilege. Not everyone gets the chance to enjoy more time, more mornings, more opportunities to witness the sunrise, hear a friend’s laughter, or feel the warmth of a hug.

So, I’ll embrace the sore muscles. I’ll accept the slower pace. I’ll take that extra stretch before rolling out of bed. I’ll celebrate the strength that’s still there and the memories that keep me smiling. Because I’m truly grateful to still be on this side of the dirt. 

Here’s to growing older, gaining wisdom, and appreciating every single day — aches, pains, laughter, and love included. Every moment is a gift.