A Change in View

I say it often—through my chapters, my book, and in my talks—because it matters that much to me. It’s not just a phrase I share with others; it’s a reminder I return to myself again and again.

And still, even I wander off my path from time to time.

There are moments when I find myself moving aimlessly, disconnected from the very passion I once spoke about with certainty and fire. When that happens, I try to return to those moments when I gave this advice so freely to someone else. I ask myself: What was I thinking then? What did I know in my heart at that time? And how can I take my own advice now?

Accepting and practicing our own advice is often one of the hardest things we’re asked to do.

When we speak from experience—whether from a journey we’ve already walked or one we’re still navigating—we know our words carry truth. That advice didn’t come from theory; it came from lived moments, lessons learned, and courage summoned in difficult seasons. So why is it so hard to apply it to ourselves?

Fear. Comfort. Doubt. Timing. Sometimes it’s simply exhaustion.

Somewhere along the way, we start negotiating with our dreams. We tell ourselves we’ll return to them later, when life is quieter, when we’re more certain, when the risks feel smaller. But the truth is, the things that set our souls on fire rarely arrive without discomfort.

So the real question becomes:
What is keeping us from taking our own advice?

And even more personally—what is keeping you from doing the things that set your soul on fire?

Sometimes the reminder we need isn’t new wisdom, but the courage to listen to what we already know.

Do you have faith in the incredible strength of human resilience? Is there a subtle, unwavering force that empowers ordinary individuals like you and me to overcome past regrets and mistakes? I’m not referring to those who have committed irredeemable acts. I’m talking about individuals who simply wish they could revisit and alter certain moments in their lives.

 Maybe they have reacted in anger… 

 Maybe they spoke impulsively… 

 Maybe they exited when they should have remained… Or remained when they should have exited. 

People who reflect on their previous choices and think, “If only I had known then what I know now.” 

Do you believe these individuals can undergo a significant transformation? That they are capable of changing their behavior, healing old wounds, discovering new purpose, and embracing a version of themselves they once thought was unattainable? 

I certainly do – I have faith that growth is genuine, and that self-awareness can transform an entire life. I believe that resilience can convert suffering into insight, and that transformation is not limited to the extraordinary, it is accessible to anyone courageous enough to face their truth and make different choices. 

So I ask you once more, “Do you believe in transformation?”

Here’s a simple way to look at it: think of spirituality as the vast ocean, while religion is just one of the many boats you can use to navigate those waters. You might also choose to swim, float, or simply sit on the shore and soak in the rhythm of the waves.

Spirituality doesn’t hinge on religion. It’s all about connection, awareness, and finding meaning—things that can unfold in nature, through art, during meditation, or even in the little moments of daily life. Religion can offer guidance, a sense of community, and a framework that helps some people explore the depths of their inner selves. But it’s certainly not the only way to dive into the richness of existence.

Ultimately, spirituality is a personal journey. It’s less about following strict rules or rituals and more about how deeply you engage with the world, how much you reflect, and how open you are to the mysteries that life presents. You can discover it in a church, a temple, a peaceful morning stroll, or a quiet moment by the sea. The choice is yours, and every path you take has its own unique beauty.

Do you ever catch yourself reflecting on the habits and behaviors you keep repeating, even though you know they’re not good for you? The foods we indulge in, the relationships we cling to, the patterns we cycle through again and again — all of them fall into this quiet, uncomfortable truth:

We often don’t let go of what harms us, not because we’re unaware, but because the familiar feels safer than the unknown.

Even when the familiar is slowly breaking us.

Sometimes the very things that wound us become woven into our sense of identity. We start to believe:

“This is just who I am.”
“This is how it’s always been.”
“This is the kind of love I know.”

Our bodies get tied to the chemistry of it.
Our hearts get attached to the potential of it.
And our minds bargain with the future, whispering, “Maybe this time will be different.”

Letting go isn’t just a choice — it’s a grieving.
It’s mourning the version of life we hoped would exist.
It’s releasing the comfort of old patterns, even when they no longer serve us.

That’s why real healing doesn’t come from force.
It doesn’t come from shaming yourself or pushing harder.

Healing comes from compassion.
From patience.
From choosing yourself — again and again — even when choosing yourself feels unfamiliar.

Because freedom isn’t always loud or dramatic.
Sometimes it begins quietly… with a single decision to stop abandoning yourself.

Holding on to anger might feel empowering at first. It seems justified, protective, and even like a way to maintain control. But the reality is, anger is a heavy burden. When we cling to it, it seeps into every aspect of our lives—affecting our conversations, quiet moments, and even relationships that had nothing to do with the initial pain. Over time, it doesn’t just linger in our hands… it finds a home in our hearts.

Anger isn’t inherently bad. It’s a part of being human. It signals that something mattered to us. It shows that we’ve been hurt. But true healing starts when we pause and ask ourselves: do I want to be right, or do I want to be free?

Letting go doesn’t mean that the hurt was acceptable. It’s about choosing peace over punishment. It’s about prioritizing your well-being instead of getting stuck in the past. You deserve to feel light, to experience softness, and to have the freedom to move forward without dragging yesterday along with you.

Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is to let go.